RESEARCH SHOW, BABY BOOMER COUPLES NEED IMPROVED COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Everyone reads articles that begin with the headline “Research Shows…” so there you have it. Don’t let the fact that the research at hand is personal to myself only deter you from tapping into this important announcement…couples who are Baby Boomers need to learn all over again how to talk to each other. My inner Goddess says so, and I’m certain my gal friends will agree.

Yesterday while performing my twenty minute hygiene ritual I discovered something new. I have wrinkles on my ear lobes now, which I am sure were not there yesterday. I know because I have to use a 10X magnifying mirror to even see my face (to put in the eye drops required by my aging condition called dry eye) and to put on even a dab of lipstick. Are ear lobes that heavy, that gravity pulls them down? I thought mine were rather dainty (and I have seen some big ones, even on women). Now I’m not talking about a crease here, that is natural, and many people have creased ear lobes. These things on both my ears are decidedly wrinkles. I have come to know wrinkles when I see them (or craters, canals or cracks which are better names for them).

For a moment I studied them, trying to decide if having pierced ears was the cause (one single hole in each ear, since I was 16?). Then I thought maybe I should stop wearing earrings at all, it may just draw attention to the new wrinkles. After a deep sigh I moved on, readying myself for church.

In the car on the way to church I remarked to my husband, “This morning I found wrinkles on my ear lobes.” Tom glanced in my direction and said “You’re right, but don’t worry about them. It’s time for us to forget about those things and only worry about big things.”

What? What? What? Are you kidding me? One glance from three feet away and he could see them? I pulled my hair over my ears and turned, looking out of the passenger window, trying to figure out how his vision was still so good when I’ve been counting down the days until the eye doctor says I need cataract surgery (last time I was there she said, “not yet”). I dwelled on his comment about letting go of the little things for about one millisecond, whatever that amount is.

Thus, my instant conclusion from my own in-depth research: Baby Boomer couples need new communication skills for this stage of our lives.

Here’s an improved conversation:

She says, “This morning I found wrinkles on my ear lobes.” He says, “I doubt it, you hardly have any wrinkles anywhere, why would your little sweet ear lobes get wrinkled? Maybe you stayed in the shower too long, or you’re having an allergic reaction to a new shampoo?” She says, “You’re right, it must be a mistake. I’ll throw out my mirror and get a new one.”

Let’s clarify something about Baby Boomers before we go any further. Baby Boomers are technically people born from 1946 through 1964. Now I’m sorry, folks, but 1964? You’ve got to be kidding me. They are in their mid-forties now and they had no experiences like we did, navigating tremendous cultural change otherwise known as the late Sixties and early Seventies. We went to college when girls and boys were separated in dorms with house mothers, sign in sheets, panty raids (what the heck was that?) and dresses mandatory at certain times and emerged from college with war protests, co-ed dorms, co-ed lifestyles, plenty of experimentation- - am I making my case here? (If you were born in 1964 I am not dismissing you, I’m just saying I can’t accept that you have lived the true Baby Boomer experience. Find another name for your group, please. I have no suggestions.

Anyway – I think I’m on to something here with my research. Every few years I re-invent myself and come up with something else to do to keep me occupied, i.e., prevent me from finding signs of aging on myself. I’ve decide to gear up a training program for Baby Boomer couples. I’ll keep the price reasonable; after all, the darn recession has ruined our retirement prospects for the most part. I’ll throw in some yoga for free (that’s another story) and I’ll guarantee results, or you can take the class again. And again. There are some stubborn Baby Boomers out there.

Believe me, after this experience I will hold my tongue when looking at the top of my husband’s head. There isn’t much there to talk about, so I just won’t say a thing. Although it’s possible if I say something he won’t hear me…

Pappy and the Snake - a tale for children or your inner child

[editor's note: pictures of this story are not yet available...stay tuned...]




"Uh, oh," said Pappy. "A doggie is barking and won't stop. Nana, why don't you go outside and see what is going on?"

"I can't right now" said Nana, I am cooking our dinner and trying to talk on the phone to our son. "Why don't you go out?"

"Arggghhhhh" said Pappy, but he went out.



"It's a snake, there's a snake in the fence!!" shouted Pappy when he returned to the kitchen.

"Well then, bring in the dog, and I'll take care of it after dinner" said Nana. "Okay", said Pappy.



After dinner, Nana quickly cleaned up half of the dishes then left the pots and pans to soak. It was getting dark, so she thought she should check on that snake soon.



"Uh, oh" Nana said to herself when she saw the snake; he was caught up in the fence netting and looked terrible, but was still alive. He was pretty big, and awfully scary. But Nana knew she had to try to free him from the netting.



"Ugh" she thought. "What should I do?". Meanwhile, Pappy was watching the news and the weather.



Nana got out two barbecue tools with long handles, and a scissors. Her plan was to try to hold the snake's mouth away from her while she tried to cut him free. That might work!



Outside, Nana could see she would have a big job ahead. The snake was very close to dying, and yet he still could bite, couldn't he? Nana knew she needed help, and looked around the neighborhood to see who might be there. A noise from across the street - Mr. Rogers! He can help! Nana didn't want to "bother" Pappy with this whole snake business, after all, he had a busy day at work.



Just then it started to rain, rather hard. Nana and the snake were getting soaked, so Nana went down the hill as fast as she could to get Mr. Rogers. Her shoes fell off in the wet grass! But Nana kept going, barefoot and holding the barbecue fork and spatula and scissors, and rang Mr. Roger's doorbell.



Mr. Rogers is always a big help, and sure enough he put on his raincoat right away and trudged up the hill after Nana. He was puffing a little, but he made it! They passed Nana's wet shoes on the way.



Poor Mr. Snake! He was tangled even worse. "He's pretty long" said Mr. Rogers, but he's a good snake, so we'll help him. I'm glad he's not a copperhead snake. "Me, too" said Nana.



Mr. Rogers went right to work. He took the barbecue fork and pinned Mr. Snake's head down to the ground, not too tight, but just enough to hold him. Then he put the spatula on his head, gently, and said to Nana, "hold this steady while I try to free him. He shouldn't be able to move with the fork and spatula in place". Nana did as she was told, and Mr. Rogers went right to work, with his pocket knife, cutting gently away every little bit of mesh that was strangling Mr, Snake. Nana's scissors weren't needed. Mr. Roger's pulled the snake's long tail out and checked it all over for any more mesh. He was free!!!



Just then, the front door of the house burst open, and Pappy came out! "Hi, Shorty (that was Mr. Rogers first name)! I would have come out and helped but it started to rain!"



Nana couldn't believe her ears...is THAT why he didn't come out to help? Oh, that makes sense! She thought it was because he didn't like snakes. But, no, Pappy didn't like the rain.



Mr. Rogers didn't seem to notice Nana's surprising look, but he took the snake (carrying it with the barbecue fork) over towards the woods, and said "get going, fellow!".



Nana and Mr. Rogers talked a little more about the big rescue, and both went home feeling glad that they could help out Mr. Snake. Nana did get her shoes back, too.



So THAT is the TAIL of PAPPY and the SNAKE!!!!!



Watch for our series of stories: Pappy and the Mouse, Pappy and the Broken Air Conditioner, Pappy and the Bat, etc.