Wit - no wisdom?

Some things are just plain funny, and it doesn't matter if we learn a lesson from them...therefore, I shall plow ahead and tell the stories without any particular purpose but to share them. I do hope that you laugh (or at least smile).

Monday, August 23, 2010

RESEARCH SHOW, BABY BOOMER COUPLES NEED IMPROVED COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Everyone reads articles that begin with the headline “Research Shows…” so there you have it. Don’t let the fact that the research at hand is personal to myself only deter you from tapping into this important announcement…couples who are Baby Boomers need to learn all over again how to talk to each other. My inner Goddess says so, and I’m certain my gal friends will agree.

Yesterday while performing my twenty minute hygiene ritual I discovered something new. I have wrinkles on my ear lobes now, which I am sure were not there yesterday. I know because I have to use a 10X magnifying mirror to even see my face (to put in the eye drops required by my aging condition called dry eye) and to put on even a dab of lipstick. Are ear lobes that heavy, that gravity pulls them down? I thought mine were rather dainty (and I have seen some big ones, even on women). Now I’m not talking about a crease here, that is natural, and many people have creased ear lobes. These things on both my ears are decidedly wrinkles. I have come to know wrinkles when I see them (or craters, canals or cracks which are better names for them).

For a moment I studied them, trying to decide if having pierced ears was the cause (one single hole in each ear, since I was 16?). Then I thought maybe I should stop wearing earrings at all, it may just draw attention to the new wrinkles. After a deep sigh I moved on, readying myself for church.

In the car on the way to church I remarked to my husband, “This morning I found wrinkles on my ear lobes.” Tom glanced in my direction and said “You’re right, but don’t worry about them. It’s time for us to forget about those things and only worry about big things.”

What? What? What? Are you kidding me? One glance from three feet away and he could see them? I pulled my hair over my ears and turned, looking out of the passenger window, trying to figure out how his vision was still so good when I’ve been counting down the days until the eye doctor says I need cataract surgery (last time I was there she said, “not yet”). I dwelled on his comment about letting go of the little things for about one millisecond, whatever that amount is.

Thus, my instant conclusion from my own in-depth research: Baby Boomer couples need new communication skills for this stage of our lives.

Here’s an improved conversation:

She says, “This morning I found wrinkles on my ear lobes.” He says, “I doubt it, you hardly have any wrinkles anywhere, why would your little sweet ear lobes get wrinkled? Maybe you stayed in the shower too long, or you’re having an allergic reaction to a new shampoo?” She says, “You’re right, it must be a mistake. I’ll throw out my mirror and get a new one.”

Let’s clarify something about Baby Boomers before we go any further. Baby Boomers are technically people born from 1946 through 1964. Now I’m sorry, folks, but 1964? You’ve got to be kidding me. They are in their mid-forties now and they had no experiences like we did, navigating tremendous cultural change otherwise known as the late Sixties and early Seventies. We went to college when girls and boys were separated in dorms with house mothers, sign in sheets, panty raids (what the heck was that?) and dresses mandatory at certain times and emerged from college with war protests, co-ed dorms, co-ed lifestyles, plenty of experimentation- - am I making my case here? (If you were born in 1964 I am not dismissing you, I’m just saying I can’t accept that you have lived the true Baby Boomer experience. Find another name for your group, please. I have no suggestions.

Anyway – I think I’m on to something here with my research. Every few years I re-invent myself and come up with something else to do to keep me occupied, i.e., prevent me from finding signs of aging on myself. I’ve decide to gear up a training program for Baby Boomer couples. I’ll keep the price reasonable; after all, the darn recession has ruined our retirement prospects for the most part. I’ll throw in some yoga for free (that’s another story) and I’ll guarantee results, or you can take the class again. And again. There are some stubborn Baby Boomers out there.

Believe me, after this experience I will hold my tongue when looking at the top of my husband’s head. There isn’t much there to talk about, so I just won’t say a thing. Although it’s possible if I say something he won’t hear me…

2 comments:

  1. I see the wit AND the wisdom.....you may have to change the name of your blog! Very funny....Trish

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  2. RESEARCH SHOWS injectable cosmetic fillers may noticeably reduce the appearance of earlobe wrinkles. Eventually, of course, they may may heavily upon one's shoulders.

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